Learn to let go
by roobook
Summary: Olivia is acting strange. For some reason Carisi is the only one who notices, and he wants answers.
1. Chapter 1

"Alright, so I heard you're not talking, but also not lawyering up." Olivia walked into the integration too confidentially, the door slamming behind her.

"You heard I wanted alone time with you." He looked at Olivia, smiling. Olivia's confidence visibly disappearing.

Caris POV

As I watched this interaction I became more and more confused. I see him whisper something to her. I watch her walk out of the interrogation room, I turn to her.

"Let him go we have no evidence, no case."

"Liv-"

"Sargent Benson."

"Whatever, Sargent Benson, this is our guy. You know it." I look at her pleadingly and angry. "There may be no physical evidence, but he's connected to all of these women."

"Let him go." Without saying another word she walks away.

I walk back into the interrogation room. "You're free to go." I hold the door open for him.

He gives me this huge smile and walks out the door. I watch him. He just strolls right out of the precinct. I can't hold it in anymore. I storm into "sargent bensons" office.

"What did he say to you?" I cross my arms and look at her.

"I see you're wearing the same suit as yesterday." I'm taken off guard.

"What? I look at her. "Liv, what the fuck?"

"I told you it's Sargent Benson. I'm done with your disrespect, get out.

"Sargent-"

"I have work to do and so do you."

I leave completely confused.

"What happened with our suspect?"

"She's lost it, Amanda."

"Olivia knows what she's doing."

"Yeah, Liv's been doing this a while. If she says she's not our guy, he's not."

"Okay Fin, let's get to work." I go back and knock on her office door. "We're going through the case again."

She comes to the bullpen looking uneasy. I was not about to ask. As lead detective on this case, because I found there was a connection with each victim, I go to the board.

"This guy has been doing this a long time, 10 years. His most recent victim was eight days ago. We know his patterns, what he likes. He drugs his victims and brings them to a second location. That location is unknown. He ties them up so they're on their back, spread eagle. He doesn't talk, wears gloves and a condom. He carases them, eventually ripping their clothes off." Olivia abruptly leaves. I look at her, take a second, and continue. Fuck her. "He then rapes them. For how long and how many times varies."

As the day goes on Olivia stays in her office. She's locked the door and no one is allowed in. When it's time to go home, Olivia stays in her office. I've decided to wait her out. Two hours later she finally comes out of her cave.

"Olivia, we're both off the clock, talk to me." I walk over to her and she pulls me into her office.

Before I can say a word her lips collide with mine. Next thing I know I'm driving her to my place and we continue kissing. She's being so aggressive, pushing me onto my bed and ripping my pants off, my underwear following. Then she's taken me in her mouth. She's swirling her tongue. I grab her by the hair and make her look at me.

"Carisi!" I'm woken up, clearly dreaming. I must have fallen asleep while waiting for Olivia. I rub my eyes. Get up, rubbing my eyes, and look at her.

"Go home Sonny." I watch her walk away.

When everything winds down and I get home I find Rafael waiting for me. I get on the couch and snuggle with him.

"Rough day?"

"You could say that. What are the dinner plans, Raf."

"I'm pooped too. Let's order thai. You call. You know what I want. I'm taking a shower."

"I'm joining you."

"I ate a lot, help me work it off."

When I close my eyes all I see is Olivia. I push him off, "I'll be right back." I run out the door.

Finally working up the courage I knock on the door. My heart's beating so hard it's audible.

"Sonny, you're here." She genuinely looked surprised. I wasn't in the mood to play games, I barge in.

"I need to know what's happening with you. First that weird cut you have on your breast. Now today, how you just let him go. I can't ignore this shit anymore."

"Sonny you have to leave."

"No. I want answers, now." That's when a shirtless man emerges.

"Carisi?" He looks at me confused.

"Amaro."

"Nick, go back to the bedroom. We have to talk."

"So, this is what you've been hiding."

"Yes." She sighs.

That's when I look. Somehow her shirt got pulled down, now I can fully see SLUT carved into her left breast. My instinct is to reach over and touch it. I'm trying to imagine the pain she felt. When I reach for it her hands slap me down.

"Sonny, go the fuck home."

"You should pull your shirt up, slut."

She takes a second, shocked. She looks down to see SLUT carved on her is visible, but then quickly looks up, slapping me before I can even react. I reach up to feel my face.

"Olivia, all I ever wanted to do was help and care for you. But I am officially done." I walk out slamming the door behind me, she's officially lost it.

Going home I decide not to tell Raf about what happened. Instead I just crawl into bed, snuggling into him.

"Son, where'd you go?"

"I'll tell you later." I whisper this as I close my eyes.

Waking up I don't want to go to work. Everything just feels so awkward. But I have a job and need money. I'm determined to prove Jim Walsh is the rapist. Fuck Olivia.

"I'm taking a sick day."

"Are you sick?"

"I just need a day off."

"Okay." He kisses me on the lips and is out the door.

I go into my bedroom and grab my bag. Inside I find the case files. I was planning on looking over the case, but now I'm finding this Jim Walsh.

I don't want to talk to Captain benson so I text Amanda.

 _I'm taking a sick day. I don't want questions just tell captain Benson._

This way I could track him down, get answers, and Olivia can't stop me.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia POV

"Captain Benson our suspect only wants to see you." I get up.

I walk into the interrogation room confidently.

"Alright, so I heard you're not talking, but not lawyering up."

"You heard I wanted alone time with you." He looks at me smiling. My heart starts beating very quickly. Too quickly. He starts whispering to me, "You're going to let me go since you have no evidence." I walk out needing to get out as quick as possible. I see Carisi standing there, looking at me.

"Let him go we have no evidence, no case." I hope I sound convincing.

"Liv-" I cut him off.

"Sargent Benson."

"Whatever, Sargent Benson, this is our guy. You know it." He's giving me this weird look, but I'm not budging.

"There may be no physical evidence, but he's connected to all of these women."

"Let him go." Without saying another word I walk away.

Getting into my office I close the door, my back on it, closing my eyes, catching my breath.

Someone manages to get the door open, not knowing I'm on the other end. I quickly find my balance. Acting natural.

"What did he say to you?"

I quickly think of a way to derail him.

"I see you're wearing the same suit as yesterday." I can see I hit the nail on the head.

"What? He looks at me. "Liv, what the fuck?" What do I have to do to get him out of my office.

"I told you it's Sargent Benson. I'm done with your disrespect, get out."

"Sargent-" I cut him off. Please just leave.

"I have work to do and so do you." He finally leaves, closing the door behind him.

I sit down at my desk and put my head down, I need out. Out of everything. I just want to rest, but soon a knock, fuck. The door opens. I wish I could just say I quit. I see Carisis great face once again.

"We're going through the case again." With no words I make my way to the bullpen. I already see his face. Then he starts talking, great.

Flashback

"Don't ever disrespect me again." Tied to the bed I had no way to protect myself. He spits on my face and grabs my hair. He then grabs my nipples, pulling and squeezing them.

End Flashback

I can't hear this anymore, I need to leave. Without saying a word I walk back into my office. I don't care what the squad will think. Getting into my office I start shaking. I can't do this. I can't keep up this lie. I can't let him do this. Everytime it just gets worse and worse. But that means I go to jail. I can get raped by the guards there, example Harris. There's no statute of limitations on murder. I lock my door and go to my desk.

"I can't do this anymore. He made me into someone I hate." I put my head down and cry.

"Hello Olivia." I look up scared and surprised,

"Jim, what are you doing back here."

"I've come to get you." All of the sudden my hands are behind my back and my mouths taped. "Now I know you won't say anything." He takes out a gun, puts it to my head, and pulls the trigger.

I jump up. I must've fallen asleep, more nightmares. I pick up my phone to check missed calls, messages, and what time it is. Damn, I slept for awhile. I need to just head home. I walk out of my office to see Carisi asleep.

"Carisi!" I've woken him up. "Go home, Sonny." I walk away.

Why won't this kid leave me alone. On my way out I text Nick to come over.

We had just had sex for hours. We hadn't hooked up in a while so he just noticed my brand. He takes his hand and touches it.

"What is this, it's new." I gotta think fast.

"A while ago I met this guy at the bar and took him home. He said he was kinky, but I guess I didn't really understand." He stares at me.

"Did he rape you?" Before I could answer, the doorbell rings. I grab some clothes and spring for the door.

For fuck sake, Carisi doesn't give up. He pushes past me and invites himself in, right after I say "Sonny, you're here."

"I need to know what's happening with you. First that weird cut you have on your breast. Now today, how you just let him go. I can't ignore this shit anymore."

"Sonny, you have to leave." He can't see Nick.

"No. I want answers, now." That's when Nick decides to leave the bedroom, he looks lost.

"Carisi?"

"Amaro." This is too much at once.

"Nick go back to the bedroom. We have to talk."

"So this is what you've been hiding?"

"Yes." I breathe a breath of relief. I then realize the shirt I threw on doesn't fit right. My bedroom floor is beyond a mess. I pull my shirt down, leaving more breast to look at, but covering my stomach. Carisi steps towards me, trying to touch my breast. I smack him away. He's supposed to be gay.

I've had enough.

"Sunny, go the fuck home."

"You should pull up your shirt, slut." I'm taken back. I look down. Figuring out the reference, I look up at him and slap him. He looks at me anger filing his eyes.

"Olivia, all I ever wanted is to help and care for you. But I'm done." He walks away slamming the door. I've finally distracted him. Now he can drop all this.

"Nick, I'm sorry about all that." I walk into the bedroom.

"He totally wants you." I get under the covers and snuggle him.

"He's gay." I take a second. "Turn off the light, please."

The next day at work I'm informed by Amanda that Detective Carisis will not be coming into work today, he's sick. Is he really that childish he can't tell me himself? Whatever, the teams not falling apart without him.

Flashback

I hear knocking, so I go to open the door, mindlessly. Once open my stomach drops.

"I've been meaning to visit you." He walks in.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm doing things different, for you."

"What do you want?" He grabs my throat and pushes me against the wall, grabbing my wrists, and holding them above my head.

"You."

End Flashback

"We have a victim whose friend brought her in, and she isn't really cooperating. You're good with the victims." I'm brought out of my thoughts.

"Okay, where is she?"

"Room three." I get up.

"Survivor." I say this as away and into the room.

"Hi, I'm Olivia. What's your name?"

"Katherine."

"So can you tell me what happened?"

"He kidnapped me." I look at her wrists to see restraint marks.

"How?"

"He must have drugged me. I don't remember much. I just remember waking up chained to a wall. It was clearly a basement."

"When did this happen, how did you escape, and what did he do."

"Uh." She can't keep up.

"When did this happen?"

"He took me Friday."

"Again, how and when did you escape?"

"He just let me go today." Strange.

"Okay, he kept you for five days. What did he look like?"

"He wore a mask and never spoke."

"Smelled like anything?"

"No."

"Could you describe the mask to a sketch artist?"

"Yes. I'll never forget his face.". Tears roll down her face.

"What did he do to you during these five days?"

"He was very calculated. I'm sorry, I can't. She should have never brought me here." I get up.

"Come back when you can. In the meantime go to a hospital." I get up and walk away.

"Sargent what was that?"

"What?"

"You did so many things you shouldn't have."

"Maybe I finally realized this job isn't for me."

I take out my phone and text Nick.

Flashback

"Beg me."

"Please don't. It hurts. Please, I'll do anything else, please."

"Fine. Get on the bed." I do.

"You asked for this." My hearts start beating out of my chest. What did I agree to. "Wait, what are you doing." Before anything could happen he quickly restrained me, the restraints already attached to the bed. He leaves my bedroom and comes back with a vibrator, tape, and knife. "I'd stay still if I were you." He turns the vibrator on, I hear the buzzing. He puts it right against my core. I'm trying everything not to move, not after last time. With me naked and my legs spread open by the restraints he had easy access. He tapes down the vibrator. He gets on top of me. He whispers "Don't scream. Slut."

End Flashback

"Olivia!" Amanda comes charging at me, bringing me out of my daze. I haven't moved since Fin talked to me.

"It's Sergeant, detective." I start walking towards my office, she follows.

"Sergeant, I just heard about what you did in there. You know, as well as I do, that wasn't okay. You're such a slut." I quickly look at her, shocked.

"Excuse me?" It took a second, but I realize it was just my brain fucking with me. I couldn't help it, the tears start forming. Amanda just looked at me, not knowing what to do.

"I can't do it anymore. I'm taking some time off." I run into my office, grab my things, and run out of the precinct.


	3. Chapter 3

Carisi POV

I had tracked this man and was now at the law firm he worked at. Someone comes towards me. I use my badge to my advantage. I take it out and shove it in his face.

"Where is Jim?"

"He's taking sometime off."

"Where is he?"

"I believe home."

"I'm going to need his address." Looking him up myself I found about three addresses.

"Sure, anything for the NYPD." He walks away and comes back with a piece of paper.

"Thank you."

I get back in my car and drive to this addresses. I ring the doorbell to his house. Once the door opens I see his asshole face. He looks at me, clearly feeling the same way.

"I want answers." He smiles.

"Come in and get them." He moves over so I can step inside. He leads me to his living room and tells me to sit down. He leaves me and then soon comes back with a laptop in his hands, he puts it on my lap. I look up at him confused, he leans down opens the laptop, faces it towards me, and presses the spacebar. A young Olivia is staring at me.

"I pushed my mother down the steps. But it wasn't on purpose. My mother was drunk. About eight years ago I came over to visit her. When I came into the house, with my key, it seemed abandoned. I yelled out hello. I heard groning and followed it upstairs, I called out for her and walked into my mother's bedroom to find her basically passed out on the bed.I grabbed my mother by the arm, pulling her to her feet, telling her to get up. She responded to me by saying, great, my rape baby is here. She then walks out of the room a little wobbly. I follow her yelling fuck you. She then turned around and slapped me in the face. After she slapped me she yelled, you ruined my life. I just got so mad I pushed her. I then yelled back, you deserved it. The thing is I didn't realize where she was standing, so I ended up pushing her down the steps, killing her.

"What is this?"

"This is Olivia's confession. I guess she felt guilty so she made this back in 2008. One day I found it in my mail. I then realized I could blackmail her. She's hot. I've been raping her for like a month. But I'll stop under one condition. You rape her. I want you to sneak into her home and rape her brutaly, I want bruises. Wear a mask, and if you complete it, I will tell her myself it's over. I'll also get rid of the last piece of evidence from camp, twenty five years ago." I look at him eyes wide and my stomach completely dropped. He scrolls through his phone and shows me.

"She was my sister. She's dead now, one year in february."

Flashback

"So, Samantha it's our last summer here. Once we graduate middle school, we have to go to the highschool camp." She looks at me. We've both had a crush on each other for so long now.

"Listen, camps over tomorrow. Tonight meet me by the woods entrance. Break the rules for once. Ten pm." My heart is beating so hard and my penis is getting pretty hard.

Bad things had happened, I need to prove myself.

We both walk away smiling. Before I know it it's ten. I sneak out of my bunk. Maybe a little too easily. I'm walking and soon I meet up with her. This big smile comes across my face.

"I'm so glad to see you, Sonny."

"Same goes to you, Sam."

"I've always liked you Sonny." The voice in my head is telling me to prove myself. I put my lips on hers and grab her as she tries to break free. But all of it is coming back and I'm no longer there. Before I can blink, I find myself on the ground, inside her. I quickly get up. She's looking at me with pure fear.

"What… what happened?"

She's looking around and finds a very sharp stick somehow and stabs me in the shoulder, and I assume she was aiming for me heart.

"FUCK!" I clutch my wound and fall to the ground. "I just wanted to prove I wasn't gay."

"Go to hell you monster. Feel that pain and remember this, because I know I will."

End Flashback

"She tried to get justice, but there was no proof. I simply denied it. I never came inside her. I deserved jail. That's why I work at SVU. I just had so much happening. I really am sorry."

"Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth." Pause.

"I know her schedule. Both her neighbors are gone. Do it tonight or the deals off the table. If you do, text me when it's done. I'll give you my number. If I never get a text I assume it didn't happen. I don't mind raping her again, but soon it will get boring. If you kill me, your secret and hers will come out. I can't tell you how though. Now, see yourself out." I look at him for a second clutching the piece of paper he gave me with his number on it and then walk out.

I get into my car and just think. I'm weighing the pros and cons. Putting my car in drive, I know what I need to do.

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He sneaks into her apartment using the key given to him from Jim. He had his gun in one hand and the key in the other. Closing the door he takes a second, listening to hear if she were to stir. She never moved out because she was told not to by Jim. He then continues to sneak his way into her bedroom. He looks at her, sleeping. An innocent victim. Taking a deep breath he goes up to her and puts the gun against against her head.

"Make this easy." He makes his voice deeper.

Her eyes dart open and she throws past him, knocking the gun out of his hand. She's running towards the door screaming. He runs after her, grabbing her hair, he's pulling her back to the bedroom, but she's not giving up easily. She throws herself on the ground, forcing him down with her. He lands on top of her letting go of her hair, she wiggles her way out from under him, out of breath. But once she gets up he grabs her ankle. She falls right back down to the floor, hard. He turns her over and holds her hands above her head and start forcing her legs apart, but she's not giving up. She head butts him and gets back up. Carisis getting mad grabs her by the hair and then throws her onto the ground. She screams in pain, tears forming. He had broken her arm by the impact. She looks up at the masked man and he straddles her again. She starts kicking and flailing. Caught up in the moment Carisi gets up and slams himself onto her leg, breaking it. Now she couldn't get up if she wanted and could only move one hand and arm. He finally remembers that he has the handcuffs, he picks her up and cuffs her wrists behind her back. With her hobbling he just picks her up, brings her to the bedroom, and throws her down on the bed. She's lying on her arms and wrists and he has his knees between her legs, and only one can do anything. He hears Jim's words in his head.

He punches her in the eye, holding back apologizing. He knows a black eye will soon form. She then spits on his face. He knows he deserves it. With both her neighbors being out she knew no one was going to hear her screams. Instead she just closed her eyes and he pulled down her panties and put the condom on from his pocket, she was not wearing pants or a bra. Once entering her, he puts his hand up her tank top and squeezes her breasts. He's trying to imagine Olivia being Raf, and him enjoying this. Once he's finished he takes the condom and runs. Once outside the house he texts Jim. He waits and Jim soon appears with a big smile on his face, handing him a usb. Walking into Olivia's apartment he goes to her lying on the bed and tells her it's over.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia POV

I'm laying on my broken arm shivering. The pain. Oh God that pain. Moving causes pain all over my body. The cruel torture of seeing my phone laying on my nightstand. I can't move.

"Hey, Siri." It then hits me, my phone is on low power mode. "Fuck."

My two fucking neighbors are gone. They sandwiched my house. But when he came in he told me two things, one it was over. He gave me his word. Then he told me that the one who attacked me is someone close to me. I want to believe that's not true. As I lay here in pure agony, I'm going through the list of suspects in my head, because sadly I knew Jim's body and knew that wasn't him. The voice too. I hear the door open, I freeze.

"Olivia." Nick.

"Here." My voice is a little horse from not drinking and being choked. I hear his feet get heavier and faster. "Olivia." I look at him and start crying, again. He runs over to me. I hear a noise.

"What did I just hit?". We both look at each other and know that doesn't matter.

"Please, I need to get off my arms. It hurts so much." He starts shifting through his pockets.

"I am so sorry, I had to pull a double and forgot to tell you." He pulls out his handcuff key. "How do we do this?"

"Turn me onto my left side and undo the cuffs, put me back on my back, and take me to the hospital." He does that as I moan and groan. But those cuffs were off. He takes a minute.

"Liv, you're just wearing a tanktop. Were you raped?" I just look at him. He understands and scoops me up.

Running into the hospital, holding me, he announces he's a cop and that I need immediate treatment. Before I know it I'm being whisked away. There's so many people around me.

I'm hooked up to so many machines.

"Ma'am, we're gonna do a rape kit now." I wish I was listening, because I blindly agreed. Once the proceder started I became frozen. I'm getting a rape kit.

Nick POV

"Detective." I look up to see a doctor. "I have some things to discuss with you, concerns." I get up. "We did a rape kit. There was no semen, but there was tearing. The problem, or the bigger one, there's scaring. Bruises both old and fresh. She's clearly been getting sexually abused before this. Beside that, she has a broken eye socket, broken rib, broken leg, broken arm, and possible concussion." I look at him eyes wide. "It looks like she will be okay, physically. You can go see her now." I nod at him. This is not real. How could I not see this. I walk into her room. I know I shouldn't be mad, but I am. My face gets hot. I look at her. She can see it on me.

"Listen, I know I shouldn't be mad." She looks at me, confused. "Stop with the lises already. The doctor told me you had been raped before, assaulted. And not just once. All I could think, I layed in bed with you. Did all these things for you. I fucking love you!"

"Nick, please. He said I couldn't say anything. He would have killed the man I love." I look at her, teary eyed.

"I wish I could have done something."

"There was nothing to do, really."

"How long?"

"One month. He branded me." She started hiccuping from the tears. "This was his parting gift. I don't know who he is and there's no way to find him." I go over and comfort her, getting in the bed with her. I let her just cry as I try to hold back the tears. I look at the clock, five am. They're gonna come looking for her. They're cops, they'll find her. Not now. She needs this. I put my head down on her chest, avoiding the wires.

"Well the two love birds." I'm awoken to Amanda standing in the doorway, smiling. I feel Olivia shift and look at her. "We all have gifts for you. We heard what happened and we're on it."

"Yeah, we'll catch him." Carisi approached Amanda. "Now, we have some get well soon gifts, bring em in." I then see unis come in with baskets and other assortments and put them around the room. When I look to Olivia, I just see a blank face, her heart racing. I hear beeping and nurses coming back in. They tell me to move. She's unresponsive.

"She's having a seizure! Everyone out!" I leave horrified.

"She'll be okay." Carisi breathes loudly in my ear.

"I'm going to fuck this guy up." He just looks at me. I then push past him. I can't stand him. I'll fuck him up.

Sitting in the waiting room my mind wanders. What did my foot hit at her apartment? I heard it slide. This was a mystery easily solved. I get up, without a word giving Carisi the middle finger on my way out.

"The feelings mutual!" He screams back at me. He's so good with those insults.

Carisi POV

I sit down in the hospital waiting room and stare at my feet. Fuck, where did I put my phone. I start padding myself down looking for it, but I then realize my gun is gone.

It dropped out of my hand. My eyes almost pop out of my head.

"No." I whisper so no one can hear.

I need to get to her house. I run out of the hospital not saying another word. Driving to her house I'm speeding not caring at all. I need to get there.

I'm running and running and reach her place. The door is open. I walk inside cautiously. I make my way into the bedroom. I then see Nick sitting on the bed holding a gun, my gun. I can't keep this us.

"I did it."

"What?" He looked up at me, breaking out of a trance.

"He had blackmail on me. He also had blackmail on her. He said if I did this it would all go away. He would stop hurting her, forever."

"Carisi, what?"

"She was being raped by him! The only way to stop it was to rape her myself. I tried to be gentle, but it all happened so quickly. I just wanted to keep her safe." I start crying. I'm quickly thrown against the wall with an arm to my throat and Nick using his body to squish mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Flashback

"Sonny, I need to speak to you in my office." Sonny runs over to him concerned about what he could have done.

"Uh, okay. Can I ask what this is about?"

"Just follow me." They walk in silence from camp into his trailer/office. He locks the door.

"Am I in trouble?" Sonny's heart is beating very quickly.

"I heard rumors that you were drinking the other night."

"I'm sorry, I did. We were all hanging out, and, and-" He then pulled his pants down and started rubbing himself.

"Have you ever had sex?" He kept stroking.

"I think I should leave." He wanted to go for the door, but the pure shock made him unable to move.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He pulled his pants back up and walked over to Sonny. "Make me forget about what I heard and get on your knees. I'll guide you through this. The quicker you do this the quicker it's over." He stroked Sonny's face.

I am not gay. I am not gay. It hurts so much to walk. I go into my cabin and get lie my bunk, on my stomach. Only two days left. This way I can never come back. When I wake up and finally have the energy to leave the cabin, the sun hurts my eyes. When things come more clear I see Samantha and decide to ask her. It's the last day I have nothing to lose. I run over and tap her on the shoulder.

"So, Samantha it's our last summer here. Once we graduate middle school, we have to go to the highschool camp." She looks at me. We've both had a crush on each other for so long now.

"Listen, camps over tomorrow. Tonight meet me by the woods entrance. Break the rules for once. Ten pm." My heart is beating so hard and my penis is getting pretty hard.

Bad things had happened, I need to prove myself.

We both walk away smiling. Before I know it it's ten. I sneak out of my bunk. Maybe a little too easily. I'm walking and soon I meet up with her. This big smile comes across my face.

"I'm so glad to see you, Sonny."

"Same goes to you, Sam."

"I've always liked you Sonny." The voice in my head is telling me to prove myself. I put my lips on hers and grab her as she tries to break free. But all of it is coming back and I'm no longer there. Before I can blink, I find myself on the ground, inside her. I quickly get up. She's looking at me with pure fear.

"What… what happened?"

She's looking around and finds a very sharp stick somehow and stabs me in the arm, and I assume she was aiming for my heart.

"FUCK!" I clutch my wound and fall to the ground. "I just wanted to prove I wasn't gay."

"Go to hell you monster. Feel that pain and remember this, because I know I will."

End Flashback

Coming out of my transe I see Nick looking at me, clutching a bloody nose. I have to do this. Now or never.

"Nick, I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I'll tell you everything." I take a deep breath in, Nick is shooting daggers with his eyes.


End file.
